


Thoughts Of A Queen

by dairesfanficrefuge_archivist



Category: Highlander - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-07-26
Updated: 2001-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-18 05:41:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11867886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dairesfanficrefuge_archivist/pseuds/dairesfanficrefuge_archivist
Summary: Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived atDaire's Fanfic Refuge. Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDaire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile.





	Thoughts Of A Queen

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Daire's Fanfic Refuge](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Daire%27s_Fanfic_Refuge). Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Daire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/dairesfanficrefuge/profile).

Thoughts Of A Queen by Charlotte D.

| 

_Thoughts Of A Queen_

By Charlotte D. 

**Author's Note:** Michael, the recipient of Methos' letter, is an original character. For background on him and his friendship with Methos, you might want to read "The Ones We Choose". 

If you don't see the Bradley Hand ITC and Vivaldi fonts, you don't have them on your computer. To see this with the fonts intended, click here for the zip file. 

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Dear Michael, 

I hope this letter finds you safe and well. First, I must apologize for my lengthy silence. Knowing you as I do, I imagine that you have been concerned over my well-being. And I suppose I gave you reason to be. I was rather disillusioned and heartsick when last I saw you in England. It was a harsh and bitter war I was returning from. It had taken a toll on me. I recall a small tavern just outside London where I had too much ale and then inquired of you what men like you and I did after centuries and centuries of death and fighting. What do we do when we grow weary with the bitter destruction of war? You suggested I leave it all behind. . .and lose myself somewhere I had never been before. 

So I have taken your advice, old friend. I have come to the small town of Santa Helena in a place called California. I still use the persona of Dr. Robert Helm, but I suppose to you--and to myself--I will always be Methos at heart. 

I had an eerie encounter here my first few days. I have often heard that every man has a twin. A perfect double for him somewhere in the world. Well, I have found Kronos'. He is called Colonel Luis Montoya. It is a frightening resemblance he bears to Kronos, even in personality. The only difference being that he is mortal and lacks the scar that Kronos has, but his heart is just as black and evil. Oddly enough, he has become my conscience. Whenever I look at him, I am reminded of Kronos and the Horsemen. It keeps me from forgetting, which is good sometimes. 

Anyhow, I am the town doctor here, and I try to do the best I can. But they are just mortals and sometimes even my best is not enough. I have tried to give up the killing, but you know how it is. . .sometimes you simply cannot walk away. Most recently, I killed a man who called himself El Serpiente. He was little more than a bandit. A thief and killer, but still I hate to take mortals lives. 

I suppose there is irony in that. A man who once rode with the Four Horsemen, who killed and destroyed at will, now has a hard time dealing with the death of an outlaw. But I have changed. You of all people understand that. You are perhaps the only one who clearly does. 

I suppose I should tell you more of this story. There is a woman here. She calls herself the 'Queen Of Swords'. She is mortal, although quite talented with a blade. She seems to consider herself the bloody hand of justice for the whole town. 

Needless to say, you would love her. 

Sometimes. . .sometimes I fear that I love her. 

She wears a striking black lace mask and rides to the rescue of nearly every situation--even mine. The only problem being, I don't need rescuing. And usually when she rides in, some mortal dies because she thinks she is 'protecting' me. First it was a soldier she shot because she thought he was going to kill me. Then a member of El Serpiente's gang. El Serpiente was wounded and they took me--blindfolded and tied--to help him. He was an interesting man with an unusual sense of humor. He threatened to shoot me at one point. Not that I had any great fear of that, mind you. I bluffed my way out of that situation. He released me and, as one of his gang was leading me back to town, this hardheaded woman rode in. I am not sure what happened because of the blindfold, but I presume that they fought over a gun and it went off, killing him. 

El Serpiente assumed I had done it and starting wreaking havoc on local villages. Unfortunately, he and I had a rather unpleasant encounter and he bloody near took my head with a sword. The ironic little twists of life, I suppose. I haven't a clue why he wanted to go for my head. The Queen showed up this time and I actually appreciated her interference. (Still, if she had just stayed out of it from the start, I never would have been close to losing my head to begin with!) 

We ran from this outlaw gang together. I ended up confiding in this woman to some degree. I talked about the people I had killed in my life. She assumed I meant the lives I took during the war. I did not correct her. That part of my past is something I would not relish telling anyone. I pray I never have to acknowledge it again. I only speak of it to you because you were there for the reign of terror the Horsemen inflicted. You understand. 

Although I confess that I will never understand you for your actions during those harsh days. You despised the Four Horsemen. God knows, we gave you reason to hate us. You should have taken my head centuries ago, especially after I killed Adam. He was your mentor. Your friend. I suppose some would marvel at this ability you have to forgive without having an ulterior motive in return, but that much about you I do understand. Adam taught both you and I how to forgive. 

The Queen of Swords is like Adam in many ways. She sees the world as black and white. She's the good one and they are the enemies. I suppose that is the logic she uses to help her sleep at night after she takes a life. I wish I could make her see the path she is starting down on. I know what happens when, one day, the blinders are removed and you see the world as you have helped to make it. You see yourself as others view you. You are forced to acknowledge the pain you have caused. The lives you have destroyed. I wish to spare her that, but she is so determined to draw the proverbial line in the sand. Good and bad. Right and wrong. Black and white. But there are shades of gray out there that she has yet to see. I know because I stand alone in them. 

Anyhow, to continue with this story, I killed him for her, Michael. I killed El Serpiente to protect her. Damn her and damn those choices we have to make. I only want peace. Is that so bad a thing? I know I am Immortal and peace for us can only last a few decades at best, yet I cannot even seem to find that anymore. 

As for the rest of the town. . .well, it is quaint, I suppose. There is a rather spoiled princess here named Maria Theresa Alvarado. Tessa to her friends. She makes it apparent to come across as shallow and vain, but there is age and wisdom in her eyes. I am not sure what game she is playing with me, but I will let her play it. Who am I to complain of dishonesty? This town thinks me an Englishman and a doctor. Noble and kind. A man who values life. If they only knew of my past. 

So I will let Tessa and the Queen keep up their ploys. They may have their secrets, and I shall keep mine. Perhaps someday, I will tell Tessa my mysteries, and she may tell me hers. Until then, I will keep on pretending that I find her an intolerable, spoiled brat. And I will let her think she has kept me in the dark about her other secrets, as well. 

You see, my old friend, Tessa is the Queen Of Swords. I admit that it took me a few encounters with her to figure it out. But, in the end, it was the eyes. Our friend old friend and your first teacher Jonathan always said you could see all truths in someone's eyes. I saw it in hers after I killed El Serpiente. I encountered Tessa shortly after his death, and she made the mistake of looking at me the same way the Queen did. 

I had often thought of leaving this town, but I entertain those possibilities no more. I shall stay here and take over the role of protector now. I shall watch from a distance as Tessa and the Queen embark on this journey of theirs, and I shall stay closed mouth the whole time. Silently keeping her safe as I have a front-row seat to all of the Queen's adventures. I will even let them keep their secret from me for as long as they wish. What can I say? I am easily amused. . . 

Your Friend,   
Methos a.k.a. 

  
Dr. Robert Helm 

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© 2001   
Please send comments to the author! 

07/26/2001 

Background by Daire 

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